• Mental Health,  Renewed Relationships

    Anxious Attachment: Practical Advice on How to Overcome Nighttime Conflict

    I can vividly remember one of the most common pieces of advice my husband and I received during premarital counseling: never go to bed angry. This advice, often linked to Ephesians 4:26-27: “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold’—initially caused a lot of tension and anxiety in the early years of our marriage, especially when conflicts arose just before bedtime. So, what does this verse really mean, and how can you avoid the pitfalls I experienced, particularly with an anxious attachment style? Let’s dive into the answer in this post. During the early years of our marriage, my husband and I were firm believers that we should never go to bed angry. This principle was easy to maintain during the honeymoon phase of our marriage. However, as time passed, our first argument lasted into the night. One argument turned into two, then three, and so on, and we found ourselves stuck in a cycle of late-night arguments. I felt the need to resolve the argument before going to bed, thinking that “good Christians” shouldn’t go to bed angry. I always thought…